Hurry up and wait.
Hello, and congratulations on surviving the second longest January in recent history. From what I understand each person’s was a different length, but pretty much everyone I know surpassed almost every prior record (exception: January 2021). Mine clocked in at 948 days! Wow!
There were some good things about January (I’m looking at you, snow in the south), but on the whole, January was a trying month for a lot of people. And it hit me one day that we were all pretty much just waiting for it to be over, hoping February would bring something new.
But if you think about it—if you look around at the people in your world—a lot of them are waiting for something, and the calendar flipping to February doesn’t magically make that wait over.
There are so many things we humans wait for on a regular basis, whether it’s an anticipatory, excited wait, or a negative, dreading wait:
Birth
Death
Vacations
School to get out
School to start
If you’re a writer, replies from agents/editors/LITERALLY EVERYTHING
Kids to recover from their twelve millionth cold of the week
Packages to be delivered
The school bus
Red lights
A socially appropriate time to go to sleep
Test results (School? Doctor? Yes! All of it!)
Elections and associated changes in leadership
Weekends
Payday
Home renovations to start
Home renovations to END
You get the idea
And of course, there’s more specific things, too. For example, here are actual things actual people in my life are waiting for:
Life to stabilize after returning to work from maternity leave
News on a possible job offer
A birthday party
A book to come out! Another book to come out!
Much anticipated therapy to start
Tax season to be over (oh wait, just my family?!?!)
To see friends or family IRL you haven’t see in too long (I KNOW this one isn’t just me)
Retirement
Everyone in the house to concurrently sleep all night
To see what’s going to happen with a spouse’s job who works for the federal government
An injury or illness to heal
For the school dance to hurry up and get here!
I could go on, but I won’t, because I think it's clear that almost everyone we know has something coming down the pipe (or is it pike?), whether it’s an actual, tangible thing, or an anticipated change in how life is (e.g. for January to be over!). In part, I’d like for this to serve as a reminder that we never know what’s going on in people’s lives, and kindness is (almost) always the best choice, and judgment is (almost) never the best choice.
But I also want to really hammer this home: we have to make the most of our lives, even—or maybe especially—in the in-between times when there’s something coming or something we’re waiting out.
So how can you make the most of this time, assuring you’re living life to the fullest even though you’re waiting? How can you ensure every single day has a bit of joy, has a bit of happiness, has a bit of gratitude in it? What things can you do that are in your control, that you do have a choice over? Because the reality is that we’re going to spend so much of our lives waiting. I, for one, am soon going to be diving back into the query trenches, which is SO MUCH MISERABLE WAITING. And will I wallow? Absolutely. Will I feel impatient? You betcha. Will I be climbing the walls hoping for something, anything, resembling good news? One thousand percent.
But do you know what else I’ll be doing? Using the in-between time to step back and enjoy time with my kids. Finishing the last 10,000 words of my fifth (fifth!!!) manuscript that I’d set aside in December because my head and heart just weren’t in it after I parted ways with my agent. Reading and resting. Staining a new fence and probably laying four thousand tons of mulch. Revising my fourth book, which I hadn’t done yet because I wasn’t quite sure how. Volunteering in the library of Big’s elementary school. Working to get the company* I’ve just launched off the ground. And reminding myself daily that life is made up of the in-between, and that it will keep moving forward. Whether or not I make the most of that time.
And if you still don’t know what that looks like for you, if you still don’t know how to cope, I want to offer you this: I went to a grown-up birthday celebration recently for a new friend that I hope will become a good friend, and in her birthday toast her husband said something that has really stuck with me. He said she’s always saying that life is about people. So if you’re waiting for something—whether it's a good something, a not good something, or just a shift in your life that you know is coming—take a breath and look at the people around you, the ones you care about and who care about you. Whether they know they are or not, they’ll show you the way.
“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”
*Yes, I buried the lede! You’ll recall that I made the extremely difficult decision to part ways with my agent in December. And it forced a reckoning, and a lot of thought, and here's what I came to:
I LOVE writing fiction and I'm not going to give up. It fuels my soul and my identity in a way that's meaningful to me.
I need and want something outside of my fiction to fuel different parts of my brain and my soul.
The outcome...Esperance Creative, the mission of which is to facilitate the development of professional and aspiring professional creatives (including, but not limited to, writers of fiction!) in a boutique environment, and to engage meaningfully with social issues related to literacy.
If you know me it won't surprise you that I have BIG PLANS, including a multi-year vision. For now, though, I'm starting with just a few services, including building websites, consulting, beta reading, transcription, and proofreading. If you (or someone you know!) is a creative—whether writer, knitter, potter, painter, cake maker, candle maker, or whatever—and needs some support, to celebrate the launch I'm offering 10% off for anyone who completes the request form via my website by the end of February.
“If you ask me what I came into this life to do, I will tell you: I came to live out loud.”
Recommendations Roundup
Parting Shot
Final Thoughts
I wish you the peace that comes from living the life you want for yourself, the hope that comes from seeing your own potential, and the joy that comes from stepping back and feeling gratitude for it all. Go forth, my friends. I wish you well.
Love,
Sarah
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